Sorius legius

I have a sore leg. Yes, I can feel your sympathy from here. And it's not from cycling into work which I did a couple of days ago for the first time this year. Notice how I made that seamless link? I should be a DJ.

Anyhow, it was Monday. Monday was a public holiday. The buses were running to a funny schedule, and not the funny schedule they currently run to, but a different, funnier schedule. It was also a reasonably nice morning. Now work has moved since the last time I blogged (Admittedly the tectonic plates could have moved a few miles since my last entry but it's been a busy time) and now instead of being in Bearsden (North of Glasgow) we're slap bang in the City Centre, a mere stones throw from two previous places of employment.

Now, where was I .... oh yes. So I took the bike into work, but it was hardly worth the effort. It is now a whopping 2.8 miles from my front door to the works horror-movie-esque underground garage (more on this another day). 2.8 miles? How am I ever going to hit the 1000 mile mark by the end of the year? *cough* On the plus side, it took a mere 12 mins or so, even in the traffic, which is a damn site faster than getting the bus in and walking along.

The plan was to take the bike in tomorrow too. However, that depends on two things. The weather and the leg. I know, it's like a cliffhanger. More excitement in one of these posts than the whole 1st series of Lost. Be sure to tune in next time for another exciting ... er .. you get the idea.

Attempt two

Last year my aim was to hit the 1,000 mile mark on the ole' bicycle and I managed but a mere 723 miles. It was all going so well right up until the end of summer. Shocking. Anyhow, since it's another year I reckon I'll give it another shot. 1,000 miles in 2006? Well ... I can but try. However, since it's now the 2nd week in February the outlook's not promising.

The wee cycleometer(tm) has been reset and even though it shows a whopping total of 0 miles, I have actually been out. (I shall update my total later on). It was a couple of weeks ago and I decided to go out for a leisurely 25 mile ride out towards the office, in preparation for taking the bike to work. Things were going fine until about mile 3. That's when I thought I was going to expire. I guess you don't keep your fitness over the winter period by eating mince pies and watching TV. Dagnammit.

It's now officially light enough to cycle to work in the mornings, possibly even without lights by next week. However, getting home is still an issue. It still gets dark too early, and even with lights I don't fancy the prospect of zipping along the side of the canal tow-path in the dark. Too easy to hit a rock and end up in the water. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Regardless, we're also moving office in around 6 weeks or so, which will mean a change to the nice 11ish mile ride to the office I currently have. Wonder if it'll be light enough to cycle by the time we leave here...

And my 10 mile radius has been broken. At the weekend a 30 mile trip was made to Edinburgh, and next week I'm being forced to go to Sunny Derby, a whopping 200ish miles from home. Still shocking poor.

Smited

When you get a puncture on the way home from work you're unlucky. When you get two within the space of a mile you know you've somehow pissed off The Big Man. Don't ask me how, cause I thought I was going OK at the moment.

I even spent a fair amount of Saturday with a hot bird, trying to persuade her to go out with me. OK ok .. admittedly it was a sparrow (or some other small feathered type of bird) but even she was having none of it. Somehow (between Friday night and Saturday morning) she'd managed to get into the close, and was flapping about in rather a distressed way. And before you ask it was rather a hot day.

Anyhow, I tried various methods of guiding her down 2 flights of stairs, along a corridor and out into the street but none succeeded. Not leaving the door open and hiding, not chasing with a broom, not making coo'ing sounds from the door (ok, so that was a long shot). Even coaxing her with some bread had no effect. But to be fair ... I can't really see a bird chasing a bit of bread. A dog, maybe .. but not a bird.

Eventually she did make her own way out, after I gave up and propped the main door open with some junk mail (see it IS useful) and went inside to get some coffee.

So, after trying to help the little birdy, quite why the big geezer would be pissed at me is a mystery. Maybe he's just in a bad mood. Still, surely that's all my bad luck used up and I should be onto a run of good luck now. None the less, my cunning plan of carrying 1 spare inner tube for my bike needs re-thought. While the 6 mile hike was not too unpleasant, I'd rather not be doing it again anytime soon. Moo.

Productivity

Wooo. Productive weekend. Well, more productive than usual at any rate. I got a haircut (yay), I defrosted the fridge (boo), I did some shopping (grrr) and I purchased teh bike (super-yay).

Oooh yes, it's a sexy little number. Errr .. ok .. so it's a bike. But it's lighter than a bag of sugar (almost) and goes like shit off a shovel (assuming I pedal hard enough). But, most pleased I am with it, is what I would say if I happened to be a small, green thing who frequented starwars movies.

Today I headed back over to the mountain bike circuits in good ole' Pollok park and bravely attempted the blue run as I did back in February. Now, maybe it's the speedy new bike, or maybe it's cause the ground wasn't as muddy as a .... er ... muddy field, but it was a piece of cake this time.

This led me to try the red run, which was fun with a capital eff (that would be Fun then I guess) until the point I christened the new bike by (rather unspectacularly) falling off. I would give you the reason why, but needless to say I it boils down the me being an ass. However, you'll all be super-glad to know that no damage was sustained. At least to the bike.

And on that note I'm off. I shall leave you with this, brief monologue which just made me spit orange juice over my laptop screen. Damn you to hell!

-> Paradox returns after 2 mins, 27 secs
Paradox says: "OMGWTFHUGESPIDER!!!11!"
Paradox says: i eventually had to run after it with a glass shouting "FEAR ME !!!"
Paradox says: thank god i caught it
Paradox says: its bigger than yer mum
-> Paradox is away

(Yes, no photo today cause it's late[ish] and I CBA) Moo!

Flat out to flat, out

Well it had to happen eventually. Zipping home last night I came unstuck (where the heck does that phrase come from?) as I reached Paisley Road West and discovered my rear tire no longer had any air in it. After a few choice phrases I examined the damage. Well, it was .. um .. flat.

Being a sensible chappy, I do carry with me a mini-pump, some tire levers and a spare inner tube. So I upended the two-wheeled contraption and began the quick process of replacing the rear tube. The culprit of the puncture, I discovered, was a half inch nail. Bugger .. that's one big hole. Oh well. Now .. I put the nail down while I completed the repair with the intent of picking it up before I moved on. Natually, I fogot, meaning it'll be poetic justice when I cycle over it again later on. Or if you hit a nail on the bridge over the M77 just after Paisley Road West then I whole-heartedly apologise. Gah.

Anyhow, after the quick process of changing the tube was complete I started to inflate the tire with the mini pump ... only to find it wasn't working properly, and kept letting the air out the handle end (WTF?). Grrr. Another few phrases were expelled before I ended up pushing the beast home the remaining 1.5miles or so. Oh well, at least it was a super-sunny night and not pissing it down. Moo.

Too hot, too cold, never just right

<rant>At the first sign of snow in Scotchlandia, you can expect delays on the trains. And believe me, we get snow up here. However, while living in Finland there could easily be 5ft of snow in the city and the trains were practically never delayed. Certainly never cancelled due to snow. Are we that unprepared?

So, today it hit 27C in sunny Scotchlandia in what is predicted to be the warmest day of the year. Now, 27C isn't exactly super hot, but for Scotland it's pretty warm. London easily hits 30 and Finland got up to the odd 35C or so. So why, when it hits a meagre 27C does First Scotrail cancel all the trains claiming the tracks are now too warm?

Did they use marshmallow for the tracks instead of steel? After standing in a bus queue for half an hour in the blazing sunshine, not a happy bunny am I. Tomorrow I think I may be taking the ole' bike instead</rant>

On Saturday I headed off into Glasgow (after I got rid of Andy and Ian did a vanishing act) fully intent on purchasing a new bike from Dales. However, I returned with nothing but a new pair of shorts. A swanky new pair of shorts I should add.

Still, I popped out for a ride on Sunday morning and while zipping along the side of the Kelvin I turned a corner and had to slam on the anchors fair sharpish as I can face to face with a large fence and a Road Closed sign. Most unexpected. Turns out they're upgrading the path. Diversion is not well signposted either. Oh well. Moo.

Sunday, sun-day

Today is a typical example of how all Sundays should be. Getting up late and reading a book with a cup of coffee. A leisurely lunch followed by a bike ride in the glorious sunshine, then back to soak in a bath for a hour or so before a tasty dinner (which I can smell cooking) and eating it while watching the F1.

Can't remember the last day I didn't think about work once. Unfortunately this won't be one of them as I've got stuff to do after dinner. Grr.

Went looking for how to get to Bearsden on the ole 2-wheel transportation device but seemed to miss the turnoff by the canal and ended up in Clydebank. Oh well .. maybe some other time. Still, it was a lovely afternoon, if a little on the hot side.

And I don't even feel guilty for not seeing my Dad on fathers day. Mind you, that's cause he's still on holiday somewhere even hotter than here.

Anyhow .. I'm off to enjoy what's left of Sunday. Moo.

Eye will be brief

Eyes are sore this evening, so I'll be keeping this brief. No doubt I'll be in pain tomorrow too as I was out on the ole bike today, for the first time in a couple of weeks or so. I know I keep harping on about it but I thought I would have much more time when not working full time. More fool me.

Made it over to Paisley the correct way this time. Had the camera with me and snapped some photos, which I will endeavour to put up at some point but don't hold your breath. And I actually fell off today. Woohoo, etc. Stopped (in Pollok park) to take a photo and sorta forgot to unclip .. wobbled for a bit and then came crashing to the ground. Fortunately there was no damage to me nor the camera, and there didn't seem to be anyone about to see me. Bonus.

In other news, I finally got round to fitting the shower rail I bought a while ago and (touch wood) it's not fallen down yet. Now the computer's going off and I am going to do something that doesn't involve focusing. I guess that means listing to some music. Moo.

Mechanical mayhem

Last week the postman apparently tried to deliver a parcel but I was not in. I would take the time to debate this fact and generally moan about the quality of the post around these parts, but I shall save that for another day.

Since the PO do not re-deliver, a trip was required down to the sorting office to pick up said package. It's not far off, and it was a reasonable day so I hopped on the ole 2 wheel cycle and toddled off down the road. I was just approaching the depot when the pedals stopped turning, but not because I stopped pedalling. Oh no, it was as if something got jammed in it, and it stopped rather abruptly.

Fortunately the wheels kept turning, giving me a chance of not falling off. Never has it taken so much concentration to un-clip the clippy (clipless grr) pedals but I didn't fall off in the end. On examination it seemed the gear had come totally out of alignment. I twiddled enough to fix it and allow me to get home with the package, but couldn't figure out what was wrong.

Today I decided to try and sort the problem, and started playing with the gears in the kitchen (no garden y'see. Plus it's raining anyhow). Things looked to be getting better when *snap* the gear cable snapped. Grr.

A quick trip to the ye olde bike shoppe and I arrived back £2.00 less well off, and holding a new gear cable. Now, I am one of those people who can look at a practical situation and see exactly what needs done. I can formulate the best way to get it done and usually I'm pretty close to being right. The problems arises when I stop the planning stage and enter the doing stage. That's when 99% of the time things go wrong. I can royally screw up anything DIY or engineering related. And usually I do it with style.

But, and I know you're going to be disappointed, it was incredibly easy and I had it done and working in 10 mins. That's not to say when I ride it that it won't blow up spectacularly, but at the moment, lying upside down in my kitchen, it's working like a charm. Exciting stuff, eh?

Not lost exactly

Merely not quite sure of exactly where I was, or in which direction I should be heading. But then, that's how you learn, no?

Last week I decided I'd find out how to get to Paisley on the ole' bike. I'd fired an email off the local council a while ago, and they had furnished me with a pile route maps and what not, so I was well armed and knew roughly how to get there.

Looked fairly simple. Into to Pollok park, then from there along the White Cart way and Bobs your mothers brother. Or something. So how the heck did I end up in Govan? Hmm ... my fine tuned sense of direction isn't quite as fine tuned as I'd imagined. Dagnammit. At least I was on the right side of the river, but being I started on that side it doesn't say much.

Anyhow, deciding not to waste the trip I thought I'd nip through the Clyde Tunnel and head into town. Yeah, great idea that was. Somehow I missed the cycle bit and before I knew it I was sitting at the mouth of the tunnel. Of course, there's no slip road off once you get there ... so I either had to go through the pitch black tunnel (and probably get killed) or cross 4 lanes of traffic and escape over the other side (and probably get killed). After procrastinating for a few minutes while trucks whizzed passed I went for option 2 and needless to say, made it.

So, being a brave sole I decided to try and find my way to Paisley again yesterday. I poured over the map a bit more, and was convinced there was another exit to the park that I hadn't found. Again, I couldn't find the exit and ended up in Cardonald, on Paisley Road West .. so at least it was a way to Paisley, if not the right one.

Took a different route back and found myself down by the Cart, and whilst following it found the secret entrance to the park, and as such the correct way over to Paisley. So ... later this week I shall try that, if i have the time. Pesky work and what not.

Spuds, would you believe

Friday was the end of the week. No, honestly, it was. It was also the first day I cycled in with the clipless SPD pedals. Now don't get me started on the whole clip and clipless pedals, as SPD pedals have a clip, but don't have a toe strap or anything. So quite why they are clipless I have no idea.

Anyhow, amazingly I didn't fall off once. I came close several times, but managed to stay upright and avoid falling under any passing cars. They were surprisingly beneficial, if a bit tricky to clip in and out of. You'd think they'd be slightly easier this morning, but nope. Still avoided falling off though.

So all in all, they get a big thumbs up. And with all the free time I'll have shortly (tomorrow is the last day!) I should be a dab hand with them in no time.

Speaking of work, the NHS-esque website had its official launch on Friday. Opened by the Health Minister (apparently) at a conference in Edinburgh (to which I was invited, but declined), and it all went swimmingly, with the teams whose website it was, receiving muchos de praise. So that's Phase 1 finished, and it very much looks like there will be a Phase 2 and work from other sources coming out of that if I desire.

Last week I was offered another full time sysadmin position in the city centre, and the Network Systems department here have just asked if I'd do some contract work for them for a month or so, both of which I turned down. Looks like I really do have more offers of work than I could handle, if I indeed wanted to work.

In the meantime I have to decide what to do with the pockets of cash I currently have. Whether to save it so my summer unemployment can last a bit longer, or buy a fancy new bike, or to go meet the travelling monkey in Kuala Lumpur and get my diving certificate. Gah, decisions decisions. Still, better than having to decide what mundane form to fill in at work.

Hear ye, hear ye

Just a quick update, to keep all you intrepid readers up to date with the goings on in the fun packed uber-exciting life of me. Or something.

Two things worthy of note, really. The first is I am now ahead of schedule in the whole cycling thing, as can be seen on the right there (again, those of you reading via RSS will need to look at the site if you care). Hopefully I can keep this up and be well over the 1000 mile mark by the end of the year. Woohoo, etc.

Secondly, the travelling monkey has also requested a line on the cycle-o-meter(tm) which can be seen below. He's the one not marked as Me, obviously. He seems to think it's some sort of race, and has forgotten the fact that some of us have to work instead of swaning about foreign climes drinking beer. Pesky kids. As soon as he gets bored of it I'll remove it.

A close call

First day back on the bike since Friday. Ouch. At least it wasn't the old legs feeling sore for a change. The whole situation probably wasn't helped by having a stinker of a hangover as well. Ugh!

Almost had an accident on the way in too. Well, two really. Both while I was zipping through the park like the Tasmanian Devil .. except not spinning. And without quite as much brown fur .. and without the teeth. Hmm .. not really like Taz at all then. More like Speedy Gonzales ... but without the Sombrero. And not really mouse-like at all.

So, anyway .. I was speeding through the park, like a speedy thingy on a bike with hangover (that's me with the hangover BTW, not the bike), and this squirrel darts across the path in front of me. A clever bit of braking and my finely honed avoidance skillz kicked in, allowing me to miss the squirrel and instead very nearly collide with a pigeon who had chosen a most unfortunate moment to fly across the path at a low level.

Fair enough, both the squirrel and the pigeon may have come off worse in a collision, but the lawyers and police would no doubt get involved, and the fact I was hung-over wouldn't have gone down well.

I suppose I could always blame it on the fact that the clocks changed on Sunday and as such I'm trying to acclimatise to the new light settings at that time in the morning. If I were in the US I'm sure I could sue someone for that.

Positive Change

The bike that is, not anything more fundamental. The ride in was most pleasing this morning. When I clicked the rear shifter the click was followed by a solid, positive clunk and the new gear was in use. I imagine you are saying to yourself Well, duh!, but this was not the case previously.

My bike is an old bike. Yes siree. This is my 3rd mountain bike, after the other 2 got nicked (oddly, 1 year apart to the week) and was probably purchased around 8 to 10 years ago. It has none of your fancy suspension and has a paltry 21 gears but it's solid, reliable and does the job.

It was out of use for a long period of time, and when I started using it again was in need of some TLC. So over the last year or so bits and pieces have been replaced. One thing that has needed looking at for a while is the drive chain. Front gears are fine, but changing the rear gear resulted in a few clunks and then a 75% chance that the chain would move to the right cog, with a 50% chance it would stay there.

A change of chain and cassette was in order, as the previous cassette had a splendid set of shark teeth, and this was undertaken on Sunday. A quick trip to one of the ample local bike shops and I returned with the require parts and tools (which cost more than I envisaged - sigh). After accidentally taking the freewheel apart (Oops. I should probably have re-greased it before putting it back together) things went smoothly. A quick re-adjustment of the rear derailleur and everything was looking good.

Now, you're expecting me to say everything went wrong, and the bike fell apart when I took it out for a test run. Well ... it didn't! So ha! See ... some things I can be bothered doing right .... usually ones that don't involve computers.

Critical Mass

As a cyclist there are several things I hope, and expect, to avoid in my daily commute. From the fairly large (like getting into a argument with lorry) to the more mundane like traffic jams, or trying to find a parking space.

Not having a windscreen wipers, nor indeed a windscreen, I assumed I would be safe from leaflets being left for me when my bike was parked. Apparently I was wrong.

I returned to my bike yesterday to find a hastily printed leaflet threaded through the spokes of my back wheel, in a similar fashion to the rest of the bikes in the area. Fortunately it wasn't trying to sell me something, but was for the Glasgow Critical Mass. (The group have their own website too, but it doesn't really really tell you who they are or what they do).

The leaflet itself didn't explain who they were, it just had their name, a location and time (Friday 25 March, 5:30pm at George Square, in case you're interested) and a the WikiPedia URL for their entry.

To be fair, it looks like a good cause. Both for promoting cycling and the need for better cycle routes through the city, and also for the fact that it'll piss of motorists. ;) I think I shall head along at some point. Possibly not this month, but since it's same time, same place on the last Friday of every month, there's plenty of opperchancities.

Happy no smoking day

Not that is seemed to make a jot of difference to people round the office. Still hordes of puffers gathered outside during the day. Still, least they had a good day for it.

And the dry, clear, sunny days have been most splendid for the ole' biking into work. The other day the Clyde was flat as a mirror and some of the mornings have produced picture-perfect views, most of them round the SECC / river area. I keep meaning to take my camera but naturally always forget.

And in other exciting news, there's now an image over there -----> which shows the progress so far. Aim is the 1000 mile mark for 2005. Hovering over will show you the actual details too, however, if you use RSS you'll need to actually fire up a browser to see it.

And won't be long till I no longer need the lights at all....

Alice in chains

Now, that would be a witty title if my bike was called Alice, which it's not. It's called "The Bike". Why do people insist on naming inanimate objects? And more so, why do they always have womens names? Are females names synonymous with inanimate objects? I think I better stop there.

So, chains. Yes. Monday was freezing, Tuesday was ice-tastic. Like riding on an ice rink. Tyre chains would have helped, or even better would have been tyres with metal studs through them. How cool would that be? Running down neds would be so much more pleasurable.

And today is snow. "Looks like I chose the wrong week to give up crack cocaine". Nothing like trial by fire. No really, this is nothing like trial by fire. If only there was some heat I would be happy as a sand boy (points for anyone who can tell me where that phrase came from - extra points if you don't google it). It's snowing right now too, and lying. Better not keep it up or getting home I might actually require chains for the tyres.

As a side note, I saw a metric shed-load of schoolkids on my way in this morning. Same time as usual, same route, same speed, same everything (expect weather and number of schoolkids). Maybe we should be afraid. Maybe this is the start of a world takeover attempt? Still, would have to be better than Blair....

Commutable

As from Monday I be cycling to work. At least, that's the plan. A mere 6 miles or so either way, which allowing for traffic and what not should take just over 20 minutes. Covered bike parking here helps, and since the bus is regularly taking 35-45 minutes on the way in, and up to one hour on the way home it should speed up commuting considerably. (Admittedly, it's not the 6 mile journey the bus takes)

It's light enough in the morning to get in without problems. The only issue is the sun, and today a nice pair of shades (can I call them that) arrived from that worldwide electronic car boot sale that is eBay.

In the evenings it's still dark enough to warrant lights. Only for another few weeks, but anyhow a nice set of LED lights also arrived from eBay today meaning that I'm set to give Lance Armstrong a run for his money.

So this weekend I will get those new tyres fitted, along with the shedload of other stuff I've to do. This is going to be one busy-assed weekend.

Tyre-iffic

I use my bike. I used my bike a fair amount last year. However, I must admit, the previous year I did not use my bike at all. Nor the year before that nor a few years preceding that. So, there were parts of my bike that needed replacing before using it in earnest.

As with most things, good intentions slowly turned to apathy which became laziness and (for one reason or another, mostly money) the tyres were never replaced. They were rather cracked looking, and the tubes both deflated enough over a 2 week period that they required re-inflating. The tread was worn and looked miserable. But they worked, and that's why they remained on the bike.

However, with my plan to do at least 1,000 miles in 2005 I decided that, until I get a new bike, I should get the tyres sorted. So at the weekend 2 shiny new tyres, and 3 spanking new inner-tubes (buy two, get one free) were purchased. And my, do they look splendid. Not on the bike yet, but they will be soon, trust me.

Anyhow, on my way to the bike shop I zipped past the place I currently work to see how long it would take from the flat. A cats whisker over 20 minutes I am pleased to announce. This is a damn sight faster than the bus, so this looks like an attractive method of transport. The only issue at the moment is the light. While it's now bright when I go to work in the morning, it's too dark to ride without lights by about 5pm, and with summer just round the corner (cough) I am loathed to shell out cash on some. However, we shall see.

In other news, a super quick "Thanks, but no thanks" letter arrived on Saturday from my interview on Thursday afternoon. Oh well.

Muddy, as a fox!

Having learned from previous expiditions on my bike in a Scottish winter, I decided to invest in some mudguards. A wise move it was indeed, for when I returned on Sunday I did not look like I'd been shot by a mud machine gun. No, not this time. This time I merely looked like I'd been pelted with handfuls of mud. A marked improvment.

I was also impressed to find that Pollok Country Park has, not one, but three Mountain Bike Circuits. I possibly didn't choose the best time of year to go exploring, but I felt it was my duty to check them out.

The Green circuit was marked as easy, and for the most part it was. It was pretty much flat all the way, with only one of two small, part-burried logs to go over. There were, however, a few super-muddy patches which produced entertaining amounts of wheel spin and copious amounts of flying mud.

After making round unscathed, and not out of breath, I decided to tackle the blue (medium) circuit. And this is where the laughs were suddenly on me. No your flat, easy trail. Not even slightly hilly bumpy trail. But a steep, windy, narrow trail over tree roots and loose gravel and more mud that can be thrown by opposition MPs. I almost fell off twice, and had to pause for breath a number of times, proving how out-of-shape I really am. (Personally I blame people for force feeding me beer).

Fortunatly I made it to the end in one piece, but decided to leave the Red trail for another day....