Dodge it yourself

"Let there be light" I proclaimed to the empty hallway, and low & behold, there was light. At least for a small period of time until the bulb went *POP* and I once again found myself standing in darkness. Bugger. Now, I guess it's just the way it is, but trying to climb a ladder and change a light bulb in the dark is not the easiest (or, admittedly, the safest) thing to do, but needs must. How else was I to find my stapler?

Now would you class changing a light bulb as DIY? Well, possibly not .. but I'm struggling here. In 2006 I am aiming to do one DIY task a month. Note that I did not say resolution, and it wasn't an oversight. It's just a plan, ok? So, we're approaching the end of January and nothing has been done yet. Not that I'm struggling for things to do, I'm just struggling to do them.

So ... excluding the light bulb (In the spirit of the game I'll not count that) I've currently got the following on the list for 2006:

• Fit new taps in bathroom (Already purchased)
• Paint round the new boiler (Fitted in Jan 2004)
• Fix new leak in roof (Kinda a priority this one)
• Repaint hall (Lighter colour)
• Redo walk-in cupboard (New floor, paint, shelves, etc)
• Redo entranceway (Paint, new coat hanging thing, box in gas meter)
• Redo kitchen (May replace #2 - if I can afford it)

So these are the things that I would like to get done this year, and I'm sure there's plenty more I could do. Whip the place into a bit better shape so it's more saleable. And for clarification ... although I technically called it DIY, calling in a tradesman to get it done counts as doing it yourself in my book, as long as your paying. Although, I will have a stab at most of the stuff (except taps and new kitchen) and probably just call in the professionals when if it all goes wrong.

Burning down the mouse

Now you know I'm not really one to complain. Hey! Enough of the sniggering at the back. Damn kids. But in all honesty I do tend to (or at least try to) avoid moaning about stuff in this ole blog thingy-ma-jig. Now ranting, that's a totally different story. However on this occasion I feel the need to break with tradition.

Boy oh boy oh boy. Work sucks. Like work really sucks. Well, I guess it's not so much that the work sucks (which it does, in case I haven't mentioned) but I have absolutely no motivation. Whether it's this particular piece of work, or the time of year, or just IT in general I don't know. But at the moment it's a struggle. No .. it's more than that. It's a fricking mount-Everest climb, while carrying a Troupe of performing Elephants. And yes, the fact they perform does make a different. Last I time I felt this way was when I was writing my 4th year project report at Uni, and you don't wanna know how that turned out.

And another thing. I really can't believe some people. So what if it's only a mouse, it's still a living creature. It's not the fact that he wanted rid of the mouse, as I can totally understand that. But either use a humane mouse trap and release it elsewhere, or use a trap that will kill it quickly and painlessly. Don't throw it on a fricking fire.

Poetic justice? Not quite. Poetic justice would be if the mouse ran up the guy's leg and HE burnt to death (can you tell I'm in a foul mood this evening?). I guess it's more like Karma. So bear that in mind kids.

2007 is fast approaching

Would you Adam n' Eve it? A week into 2006 already. At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical parent " Where did the time go?" It seems like just yesterday that I was making a sellotape sculpture (read: trying to wrap Christmas presents). In fact, seems like just last week I was in Barcelona .. an that was two and a half years ago.

Must be something to do with age I guess. As much as it pains me to admit it, seems like my folks might have been right on yet another count. Time does go faster the older you get. Or maybe there's a more sinister motive. Maybe the governments are shortening the days. Maybe the terr'ists have infiltrated the sun. Maybe the squirrels mind control device is finally operational. Whatever the reason, time is going too quickly.

I suppose the fact that it's dark when you go to work and then dark again when you come home from work doesn't help. The fact I've been working over the weekend doubtless won't have helped either. But bloody hell! A week already. In fact .. if 2006 were a day long, we'd be over half an hour into it already! Now THAT makes 2006 seem a lot shorter. Hope I've got time to get a holiday or two in before I need to dig out the Christmas tree again...

Lottery winner

I would claim I had an algorithm. An algorithm so cunning that foxes all over the country were plotting, deep within their their dens, to steal it. And algorithm so advanced that all the great minds in the world would be baffled. I would ... but I know you wouldn't believe me. But none the less, last night I won the Euromillions lottery. Well, at least won on it.

My lucky dip ticket matched two out of five drawn number from 1-50, and both the additional star numbers (drawn from 1-9) netting me a tidy £19.50. Hold on ... £19.50? Yup, seems that matching four out of the seven numbers is only worth £19.50. Dagnammit. Still, no one won the £61,000,000 jackpot, so maybe I'll get the (est) £70m next week.

So even after all my claims that I wouldn't continue working after I win the lottery, it looks like I'm going continue working. In fact, spent the majority of today working and, depressingly enough, only managed to complete half of what I really needed to get done. I guess that means that I really should do some more work this evening, but I don't think that's going to happen, for I have Sideways to watch, and it gets a good writeup.

Eat, drink, and watch DVD, for tomorrow we work. *groan*

Cattle-ytic converters

Looks like those pesky scientists are getting bored again. Having solved all the serious problems in the world they've turned their attention to the additional methane produced by the bovine, and ovine members of society. Or at least, so claims the BBC.

Comes as a bit of surprise to me that most of the methane produced by cows comes from their mouths rather than the other end. Just as well they don't smoke.

Fire-breathing cattle, now that would be neat. You never know, that might be where the whole idea of Dragons came from. Back in those days there would be plenty of naked flames about due to the lack of electricity, so maybe all the fire breathing monsters were really just startled cows and sheep. (If you just breathed fire you'd be startled too)

Paints a rather amusing mental image of the true story of George and the Dragon. At least after the battle there'd have been a good stew or pot roast.

Snowballs' chance in hell

So it hath arrived. The 1st working day of 2006. Shockaroonie. Turns out that I might have supposed to have been in Derby today rather than in the nice, warm office. Oh well. The lack of motivation is still present but on the plus side at least a small amount of work has been completed this morning. Going to be a major headache getting the thing into a releasable state for the 9th....

Between Christmas and New Year my boss said to me "I've just been talking to your co-worker and she'll got a surprise for you". I immediately though that she'd handed in her notice and was preparing to release the pack of rabid flying monkeys with instructions to bring her to the office. However, it seems that was a slight over-reaction, and instead it turns out she purchased a mini-fridge for the office. Yay! We can now keep milk for more than a day. I spent the rest of that day trying the get the pigging monkeys back into their cages. Quick buggers so they are.

So, how's everyone's Christmas stash? Loads of cool stuff, or just loads of fodder for eBay or freecycle? Oddest present I got was a snowball, sent over from Finland. No seriously. It IS a snowball. All right, so it might not be 100% real, but it's white and scrunches exactly like snow. Most splendid. Made by Every Day Design in Finland and the snowball is the one at the top right, labelled snowball package 2.

Right, coffee brewed, so time to get some milk from the mini-fridge and get cracking on this .....

Happy New Year

Yes, Happy New Year to you all, even if it is like 3 days late. I would like to say I've been enjoying a relatively computer-free 2006 so far but unfortunately the truth is I've been fairly busy. Not productive, just busy.

So here it is, 2006. My grand plan of 1000miles on the ole' bike in 2005 seems to have fallen by the wayside. Unsure exactly why, but I'm going to blame it on work. Not sure if I'm going to have a target for 2006, or just do away with it. We shall see.

Back to work tomorrow (thanks to the 2nd being a public holiday in Scotchlandia) and it looks to be busier than ever, especially in January which I can honestly say I am not even remotely looking forward to. As soon as 1 is projects I've got is over with things will hopefully settle back into just being very busy. Still .. there is a 15 million quid jackpot on the lottery this weekend ... I think I may buy a ticket.